It’s been a while. I haven’t been able to write because my first subscriber and ‘go to’ person to get honest opinions from about my designs, my father, has been taken from this world by cancer. It wasn’t until after he had gone that I realised I subconsciously wrote to him each time I scribbled a post (it made it easier imagining who was reading my words). I don’t want to be dramatic and I don’t want to say much more, I just wanted to say why I had not been writing or indeed visiting your blogs recently.
An interesting thing happened to me though. Towards the end of his illness every single one of my senses became razor sharp, fully focused and I was hyper-aware of every minute detail around me. I normally notice pretty small and often random (possibly irrelevant) things but this was different. I suppose it was a primal instinct telling me to be aware.
But as soon as Dad was gone I barely saw a thing, even beautiful things that I would normally feast my eyes on. Dark glasses, ear plugs inserted and an unopened camera bag was the new order of the day. Fragile.
However, good things happen too. Very, very good things. Friends. Friends bringing food, sending heart felt cards, telling me they were around but not invading. And a message from a supremely wise friend in Hong Kong who pointed out how lucky I was. She reminded me I knew it was coming, I could prepare my mind and most importantly Dad knew the most important people in my life – my husband and my children. I have a charmed life and so did Dad.
The world has begun to zoom back into focus and I’m noticing things around me again. I am also really looking forward to dipping into all your inspiring blogs and hearing your news.
I hope you are all having a great summer and I look forward to catching up soon.